Today was yet another cold, foggy day, and the sun only made a brief appearance towards afternoon. I managed to get home before dark, but the fog had already descended again and everything was muted and grey again when the dogs and I took our walk on the serpentine trail.
But there were two cool things that happened. The first was that the early darkness called out the resident Great Horned Owl. These owls have the most hauntingly beautiful cry. It's a low, melodic "Hoo...Hoo...Hooooo..." Very dignified. Very restrained. Ancient and sorrowful. As the sound weaves through the dark oak trees, I'm transported back to all the dark fairy tales of my childhood -- especially "Hansel and Gretel". Great Horned Owl hoots were made for fairy tales! I love them for that.
The second cool thing was that as I was finishing up the serpentine trail, the setting sun briefly shone through the fog and turned the entire western sky crimson. Those five minutes of brilliant color after a day of grey were amazing and very much appreciated.
To be blunt, I've been in a severe funk these past few days. OK, more than a funk. I've been feeling downright gloomy. Angry. Pessimistic. Pissed off at the world in general. Did I say angry? I can't really put my finger on why. But today I'm finally managing to get past it. This afternoon I was tutoring a small group of students after school and the power very briefly went out. No lights. The eight students instantly turned anxious eyes to look at me in the dimness of the classroom. I laughed and said, "Why are you looking at me? Do you think that I'm God and can turn the lights on again?" They relaxed and laughed too and, suddenly, I felt better than I have in days. I don't really know why this would be so, other than I've been trying so hard (and failing) to be in control of things.
Today I was finally able to just accept that I'm not in charge. What a relief. Right after that, the lights came on again.
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